Sunday, October 22, 2006


I like stirrup pants and still have 3 pair in my closet. I have such scrawny chicken ankles, it is like every pair of pants are bell bottoms. When stirrup pants emerged in my youth, I felt like I had been given a gold mine...pants that actually fit around my ankles. However, even if stirrup pants do decide to make a comeback (I am digging out my leggings from High School as we speak), these particular ones shouldn't. So, I have removed one pair of my stirrup pants to find a home elsewhere and now I am down to 2!

I did not go to church today and it is troubling me. My husband was out late last night and came home with an invitation to attend a play today of a kid that he has befriended in his "Star War's" evenings. Knowing that I have been doing less and less well with staying up late and actually being worth something the next day, he asked if I would like to skip church today. I wanted to say yes, but I couldn't bring myself to do it, so I went to bed with the intention of still going, woke up with the intention of still going, and apparently fell right back asleep with the intention of still going. I overslept by an hour and got up still with the intentions of going, but I could just not make it.

Over the course of our last transitional year, there have been many a Sunday when we have not attended a traditional Brick and Mortar church service and I have been okay with that (for one of the first times in my life) because I have felt secure in who I am and Whose I am, but I don't feel that way today. Alas, I am having one of those insecure days and I just feel bad and guilty.


middle aged blogger said...

My own brick and mortar building's PEOPLE miss you!

YOU ARE NOT BAD! by the by!

And guilt isn't bad in and of itself either! It's sometimes God nudging (or pushing us!) the right way...

I say that because in teaching parenting classes this quarter at church, we have been dicussing how healthy guilt in our children will bring them to God, as well as helping them take personal responsibility for their deicisions. An interesting concept these days where the sense among the majority is - that whatever the issue - it's not our fault! Now there's a lie, huh?

Love you - and miss you - MA B

Melody said...

I feel the same way whenever I miss Church, I think that it is normal to feel quilty. I do whenever I miss. Which would explain why I never miss two weeks in a row. Not to mention that since I go to my daddy's church whenever I miss I get "the phone call" You know the one that is asking where you were, what you were doing, and unless you are dead or dying why weren't you at church. I assure you that Jesus still loves you and that no matter how you may feel that is just satan trying to ruin your day. You are a child of the King. Rest easy and know that even when we are unfaithful he is faithful because he can't be unfaithful or untrue. I love you Jen. Hope you day gets better. I am sending you hugs and kisses and lots of prayers:)